My wife has an ass in her cock in the drive way,alright?

BITTER HARVEST (Cillian Murphy movie marathon Day 8-ish)


What an interesting movie this was. JP and I couldn't really figure out if it was supposed to be a drama or a comedy. All I know is that Colm Meaney was a ridiculous man in this movie. He was cracking me up through the whole thing. He was such a prick in the craziest way. It was good fun.
As a movie, I liked it. I'm not quite sure what the whole Colm Meaney being a tree thing was. All while he was raising his hands up by his face, all we could think about was that part in Talledega Nights where Ricky Bobby was giving an interview and didn't know what to do with his hands. That's exactly what Colm Meaney looked like to us and we were laughing so hard, our face almost fell off.

Ok, so this movie is set in 1924 in a place called Skillet, Ireland. Where Harry (Colm Meaney) and his son Gus (Cillian, the most perfect man) live on the edge of town and farm Cabbages. Some time back, Gus's mom died and I think he had a brother that died too so it was just him and his Da there in that crappy house. Gus is a handsome, sweet, adorable, nice, really really shy young man who kind of works for his dad with the cabbages and chores and everything.
Moving on, Harry wakes up one day and has finally figured out what he wants to do with his life. He decides out of nowhere one day that he needs an enemy, for a man is measured by his enemies. So he picks this one dude, George who I guess is the town "marriage broker" or Loooove broker, if you've seen Night Shift. It seems like everyone in town kind of knows that Harry hasn't been the same mentally, since his wife died and kind of takes every crazy thing he says in stride. Even the George guy didn't really think anything of it, when Harry names him his enemy. He was just like, whatever dude. He even offers his son, Gus his "services" and says he can hook him up with the new girl, Eileen he just brought into town. But Harry gets all bajiggity about it and then forbids Gus to have anything to do with Eileen just because she's associated with George. Gus wants to be hooked up with Eileen anyway and Harry agrees to make a deal with George about it. I guess Eileen's hand in marriage was traded to Gus for some Cabbages. Well, it turns out that wasn't a very fair deal because the Cabbages didn't turn into cheating whores like Eileen did. Eileen came with a bit of fine print. Can anything good come from an Eileen? My ex-boss's name was Eileen and she was a douche bag. Much like this Eileen here who didn't deserve such a fine, and perfect husband. Poor Gus Gus. He was so sweet and so shy. He was so grateful that he got his woman, he didn't even want to think about how many dudes she was banging behind his back. I'm serious. What was really gross is that it was with that George guy who hooked them up. He wasn't even attractive and he had a wife and kid of his own, that dirty Federline. She wasn't married 55 hours yet and already she was a total slutface before she makes a move on Gus. I felt bad for him, we all just felt bad for him.

I mean, he was so shy and inexperienced that he just needed a little time to get used to the idea that there is a girl in his bed. Well,She evidently can't be waiting around for him to get it up so she goes around the town, whoring it up with George and doesn't even try to keep it a secret. Harry wasn't surprised when he finds out and then he tells Gus that his wife is a dirty tramp and he doesn't even get mad at her. He just buries it all inside. "Its painful and I love you!"

What was she thinking? She didn't have anything going for her at all until Gus married her. She has a beautiful, blue-eyed, strong, sensitive Irish lad and takes it all for granted. For some twisted-ass reason in her whacked-out skull, she thinks sleeping with some old, big-nosed George guy is a better experience than her sweet, fair-skinned Gus. She wins the fucking JACKPOT in the hot Irish guy lottery and she does this. Why? Why? This movie drove me nuts with this question. And he could have done a lot better than her. Especially if I was in this movie. There would BE NO George. I wouldn't have needed him to pimp me out to Gus, I would have discovered Gus's hotness on my own. and I definitely wouldn't have slept with anybody else but my handsome Gus because it doesn't get any damn better than that. Its not even debatable because its a fact. No George's necessary in my movie. I'm sayin', the movie wouldn't have even been called 'Bitter Harvest' if I was in it, it would have been fucking called 'Sweet Harvest' cause there would have been a lot more steamy, Gus-in-the-barn love scenes and the George craziness would have been reduced to zero. Let me just quote someone who pretty much stole the whole thing from me anyways "OMG, he is like the sweetest guy in the world...hes soo nice...like when he hits her he feels soo effing bad about it...and even if he can't get it up right away...he is still so so so sweet...i wanna marry him and have sitting up sex with him...lol..kidding." ...but I'm not kidding. and even though she(he?) stole my game, at least it proves that its not just me. I'm not crazy. Something is wrong with Eileen and she needs to get the hell out of this movie.

I wont explain any further with the plot because it gets crazier as Harry gets crazier and I wouldn't even know how to explain the rest of it. Plus, I just get mad at the Eileen chick for making me crazy through the whole movie. I couldn't stop yelling at her. I see a pattern here. It seems like all these Cillian movies shows him being under-appreciated. That's bullshit. What is wrong with Eileen? Especially in the scene where it is like, their first night and she kisses him on the bed but he is so shy, he's kind of reluctant and shocked by it. She kind of gives up on him after a few minutes and doesn't do enough for his ego at that moment. You have to be patient with the Gus. He doesn't know what he's doing. You have to love him and stroke his precious ego until he has the confidence to make it through a whole kiss, and then baby-steps with making out and then sex. If he can't get it up because of his nerves, fucking calm his nerves. Hold him, touch him, kiss him all over his fair, freckly body until he pops back up with the ready energy to get it on. Don't give him less than an hour and call it quits. You get your ass back on top of him and you give him passionate love. That makes more sense to me than the whole "Oh well, we'll get there eventually" approach. She didn't care cause she was out closing the deal with George the whole time. DUMBEST chick ever. Whatever, she doesn't deserve him.