Where did you get THOSE clothes, at the..* toilet * store?

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA

I only saw this no-talent assclown of a movie, because it had several Oscar noms and I had to see for myself how many balls Emily Blunt sucked on in order to steal the BAFTA Orange Rising Star award away from my way-more-deserving, Cillian Murphy. And as far as Meryl Streep's performance goes in this movie, she made her Madelyn Ashton-Death Becomes Her performance look like ...Sophie's Choice. She is way better than this movie and her performance seemed nothing more than just a ho-hum, going through the motions for a paycheck. Thats all.

The movie was boring, lifeless, un-funny, not cute, poorly written, predictable, shallow, and annoying. The annoying part comes from the main character, whatsername. (The alleged victim in this whole Prada-wearing Devil situation.) What a whiny, unprofessional bitch. I was on Meryl's side the whole time. This mousy cry-baby loser did nothing but feel sorry for herself and how she is "treated" by her boss and all this crap she has to go through with her job and we as an audience are supposed to be rooting for her to do something competent so she can finally get the pat on the back she thinks she deserves from this too-busy-to-be-polite boss of hers. WEll, BOO-fucking-HOO. If this chick was on the Apprentice, Donald would have fired her first. I wouldnt have hired her in the first place. She didnt even know anything about the company or what they did when she interviewed for the job. Her boss wasn't evil. She was pretty much what I would expect from anyone in her high-powered position with such a company in such an industry. Like the Wolf in Pulp Fiction. He wasn't mean. "I'm not here to say please, I'm here to tell you what to do. I think fast, I talk fast, I need you guys to act fast." Thats all there was to this "Devil" boss. If you can't deal with it and do your damn assistant job, why dont you get the hell out?

AGH. I cant believe this movie was even mentioned in the Oscars with a straight face. Not only was it not a good movie, AT ALL, it was probably one of the worst movies I have seen all year. To nominate any part of this film (except maybe the costume design), is just laughable. It just has to be part of some sick...tastless joke. If anybody would have actually won anything, I probably would have burst into flames.

If you thought the preview of this movie looked interesting and thought about seeing it, DONT WASTE YOUR TIME. Life is short. If you like this sort of thing, I would recommend going back to Sex and the City Season 4 and watching the 'A Vogue Idea' episode. Its the same plot only written way better, more believable, its got the intimidating she-boss, the awkward interview, the desperate-for-a-job writer who struggles to please the she-boss, real human character to the characters, and laugh out loud dialog and events. All that you would hope for from TDWP, all under an hour and you save yourself the disappointment and agony, (not to mention time) of suffering this miserable, festering turd of a movie The Devil Wears Prada.
PIECE - OF - MONKEY - SHIT .

WHO eats cake? .....bunch of savages in this town.

Whoa, man. I had the weirdest dream. I had a dream about like, Marie Antoinette. At least I think it was Marie Antoinette. Only, Kirsten Dunst was Marie Antoinette. And I remember something about running through fields a bunch of times in these big dresses and big hair. It was weird. AND Jason Schwartzman was the prince that she had to marry but he didnt want to have sex with her (...cause, she's Kirsten Dunst) but everyone kept bugging them to have sex and make babies. They're all like "You have to make a baby, you have to have sex, we dont have all day." And she kept eating desert and buying big hair and having big parties and for some reason, New Order was in my dream too. Like, I kept hearing their music over my dream while all this Marie Antoinette shit was happening. And Then she had a kid, and then all the sudden there were 2 kids and then it turned into 3 but then a second later, it was back to 2 kids. Kirsten Dunst kept running through all these fields and doing these crazy poses like it was some kind of music video or photoshoot for Rolling Stone or something. It was crazy, man. It was probably from that Madonna MTV movie award performance of Vogue I watched last night. And that Dangerous Liason movie we watched last week. And the "Rock Me Amadeus" video I have saved in my YouTube favorites. All that probably seeped into my sub-conscious and made me dream weird.

We all scream for "getting icecreams".

ON THE EDGE (Cillian Murphy movie marathon dayyyy...seven, I think)


As many drool-inducing scenes this movie has of Cillian, I would say this movie is the kind of movie you watch and enjoy once....maybe twice. Its a cute little story of a young (and hot) man who just lost his father to alcoholism after already losing a mother, and with all those crazy teen hormones swimming around in him, he is just having a really rough time dealing with everything. He acts out, attempts suicide, he knows he doesn't feel quite right so he tries to help his situation by checking into a psychiatric therapeutic rehabilitation center in the suicide group. He messes around with everyone, still acting out, not knowing quite how to express himself, meets another suicidal crazy girl and in the end, realizes he doesn't belong there since he's not really crazy. Just confused. Thats basically the gist of it. In short form.

If you can be patient enough to forget any kind of plot (cause this film doesn't really have much of one) and just sort of ..be there with this character, the movie is pretty good. If you are looking for a series of interesting events and plot-turns, this movie will go nowhere for you and you might think it sucks. However, there is a certain charming, almost-Zach Braff-ish element that is present throughout the movie that lightens up the darkness of the situation and you even laugh out loud at some of it.

I really did like this movie though, and would like to share everything about this film that I enjoyed and stuck with me.


At the start of this film, one of the first things you see is Cillian on a bike, making a dopey hat look sexy, and coasting down the road to one of the coolest Smashing Pumpkins songs of all time. Already I am loving this movie. THEN, at some point he's driving a car and he drives off a cliff and tumbles down in aim for death. (wha? NOOOO! He can't die!) Well, after crashing his car off a cliff into the steep, rough, sharp rocks...he LIVES! (Inconceivable!) He survives the crash with only a broken baby finger. I love this guy.

So he checks into the group home/psych ward. He is taken in by the main suicide therapist, who else but Dr. Steven Rea. I swear, this guy is in all the irish movies. And I thought all he was was a good evil vampire and a loving man who takes a wrong turn into Girlswithweiners-ville. I've been seeing a lot of him and I like him more now thanks to all these irish films. He's great. ANYWAY, Cillian is moping around the psych ward, trying to get used to the idea, he goes to the window and this lady comes out of nowhere and starts telling him the worst cat story I've ever heard until Dr. Steven comes out and tells him he's not allowed street clothes. PJs only. Thems the rules. The only PJs they could find him, poor baby, are ratty, dorky, child-size PJs way too small for him. (and yet, he still manages to look sexy.)

He approaches a girl and calls her "cute" and for some wacked out reason, she finds this a good reason to start smacking him a bunch of times in the face. (He's bleeding, poor guy, she deserves the same for damaging those perfect lips, I was mad at this point.) Then there is some psycho scene in the bathroom where they ...ehm, make out?..(thats not how I would do it but whatever). She was cutting herself and he was still bleeding. I think she gets off on blood. What a psycho.

The movie has a really good soundtrack. The psych rehab reminded me a lot of the marriage retreat we went to last summer. I think I even said that when we were there, I was like "This reminds me of rehab". Anyway, Cillian is still in his acting out phase and starts acting all messed up to everyone including Doc. After making friends with the Joshua Jackson character who you might remember from the teen BOP magazines back in the day, also has an obviously faked irish accent that constantly distracted me. So he and Cillian sneak out to a bar. They get in a bar fight when some dude spills his drink on them. Cillian goes all alpha male. Such a badass.
At some other point after, there is an awkward dryhump scene with that crazy blood girl. You see Cillian with his shirt off. Freckles on the back, nothing wrong with that. I wanted to lick the tv. The blood girl was too bossy with him though. If it was me, I would have been nothing but tender. He's in a hospital so he's sensitive and fragile. I would have kissed him all over and made sweet quickie love to him. I wouldnt' bleed all over him like a psycho. Ew.

Steven Rea is always awesome. He has curly hair and I noticed he kind of looked like an irish Starsky in this movie. It was cute. Speaking of cute, moving forward in cinematic events, Cillian is still attempting to date the crazy blood girl or be her friend or something. In attempt to keep things clean fun, he asks her if she wanted to get some ice creams. You see, he has this way of making something like "getting icecreams" sound like the sexiest thing in the world. I was convinced that getting icecreams was the best date ever and I dont know why I ever bothered with this silly dinner-movie concept. My next date is going to be getting icecreams, I promise.

There was another scene where all the crazies in Cillian's group get to go bowling. In that scene, I wanted to be the gum in Cillian's mouth during that whole scene. Besides that, it was just a strange scene. I think there is another crazy fight that breaks out. Good times.

Ok. Then there is this scene towards the end that just sucked. Cillian's out with the blood girl and he's being friendly. He leans in to kiss her and everything. She doesn't give him much love back...cause she's fucking crazy. The dialog went like this: Cillian: "Why wont you kiss me?" and Blood Girl: "I am." Ehh. No, you're not. When you have a Cillian coming in to attach himself to your lips, you don't just sit there like a dead fish...you pull him in, with your fingers through his hair, and you KISS him passionately and forever. Thats what you are supposed to do. Thats what I would do. And that thing with the ending, when you are finally out getting icecreams as Cilly promised, you dont cry into your vanilla cone. What do you have to cry about when you are out getting icecreams with Cillian? Nothing. The answer is nothing. Nothing to cry about because its an amazing experience that not a lot of people get in their lifetime. You're not supposed to cry, you're supposed to savor every moment with a big vanilla smile frozen on your face. Whatever, she doesn't deserve him.

Lust The Man

TRUST THE MAN

This movie had a few minor flaws but overall I thought this movie was pretty great. It was chock full of Duchovny-ness and you get to see a more real, natural side of him in this film as if he ad libbed a lot for his character or something. I loved him in this movie. I also very much loved Billy Crudup in this film as well. They were both hilarious and even though they were a couple of man-boy fuck-ups in their adult relationships, you were still on their side and rooting for them throughout the movie.

Basically, Trust the Man is about 2 couples. David Duchovny (Tom) is a couple with Julianne Moore (Can't remember her character's name) and Billy Crudup (character's name escapes me)is a couple with Maggie Gyllenhaal (drawing a blank on her character's name). Anyway, Tom is J.M.'s husband with a healthy sexual appetite and can't seem to get enough sex out of his wife. He is reaching that vulnerable mid-life crisis time and gets along great enough with his life and family but starting to feel a little lost. Then there is B.C., who is neurotic and awkward but sincerely in love with M.G. but she's pissed because she has been waiting and waiting for him to get serious and she wants to get married and have babies like, now. He's just minding himself along and getting along with her and she vents to him what she feels (to have babies and get married) and then kicks him out of her life for not being able to read her mind. Really, it seemed like she barely hinted at her needs right before she dumped him. He didn't really have time to let that thought sink in and have his own reaction. She was kind of nuts.

So, Tom gets lured into an extramarital affair to satisfy his sexual needs and feeling bad about it, he seeks help with a sex addicts group. It brings up real situations and believable problems but I was laughing pretty much through the whole thing. I found it to be hilarious.

David Duchovny, of course, was my motivation for seeing this film and also my favorite part. Even though its been a while since I've seen him in anything new, he hasn't aged a bit. Still adorable with those soft, heavenly brown eyes. Ruggedly handsome and every bit of sexy as I remember. Just...perfection. I about exploded when he went into how sexually frustrated he was in the movie. I probably don't even need to say that if he married me, he wouldn't be concerned with such things. He would be more concerned with keeping himself hydrated and when or if I'm ever going to get tired, maybe a little concern towards losing sleep and how he's going to get any work done because he would have been what you call, 'sexually exhausted'. I would give him all the sex he could handle and then some. A little afternoon delight on his lunch hour, a Sunday morning sex coma. Then you can bet he wouldn't be having any affairs, he would not only be satisfied but he would be all sexed out. I think being married to him, you would pretty much have to just stop wearing panties. Not in any gross Britney spears way or anything, just in a way only he could tell.

And when he was making up that story to the sex addicts group about deli-meat sex, I have never wanted deli-meat so bad in my life. Thanks to that, my mind will now sink to the gutter every time I pass the deli section of my neighborhood grocery store. Curious to what I'm talking about? See the movie. Watching him eat a sandwich is ecstasy.