I told you not to go there! I TOLD you not to go there!

TURISTAS

And now, a gringo tourist with an open letter to the guy that stole his kidneys.

Well, why did you do it? Are you some sort of jerk or something? They're *my* kidneys! What did you think I'd drive home and not notice it was stolen? What are you then? Some sort of *prick* ? Some sort of idiot? Some sort of thief? What would you do with just my kidneys anyway? You human loser! Well, why didn't you just use your own kidneys if you wanted some so badly? That's what I did. Well, don't you think I need those kidneys? Well, well, what were you thinking? JERK!

And now, a gringo tourist with an open letter to the people who watched while the guy stole his kidneys.

Well, you knew they weren't his kidneys! Well, why didn't you do something? Why didn't you say something? You human piece of apathy! Why didn't you say "Hey, those aren't your kidneys! Those could be a gringo tourist's kidneys!" Just eatin' brunch. Well, didn't you think I needed them? I did! Well, look at me. Fiest your eyes on that act of violence! Good work, Einstein. Pus!





This movie was better than I thought it was going to be. (That puts it at notch 1 ) I came into it expecting a cheap rip-off of Hostel but it really wasn't. I would say if you liked Hostel, you might like this movie too but I would not say it is an actual rip-off. No sir.

The acting was decent. The premise was decent. I found this film to be quite scary in my opinion. Along with Hostel, it did for foreign tourism what Jaws did for beach swimming. One of the first things I said after watching this was "Well, I'm not going to Brazil." Seriously, if I ever do go to Brazil on holiday, I would have to forget about this movie first. I do have to add that although the characters were believable, they were also slightly stupid or knuckle-headed, as my dad would say. Call me square but I think I would have waited around for the next bus instead of going to that bar and getting wasted, So I might have avoided this horrible organ-thief problem. Also, even if I did get wasted and followed the Kiko guy, I wouldn't have hesitated to turn back when Kiko decided to grow a conscience and change his mind and say "Y'know what, I know I lead you all the way here but lets go back, yes?" Obviously something was wrong here and I would have picked up on that warning and went back. I'm surprised Josh Duhamel wasn't a little more 'wtf' about that. I mean, doesn't seem a bit odd that you have been following this Kiko guy for like 10 hours (or was it 10 miles?) in middle of nowhere wooded mountains to find an alleged middle of nowhere house for help, everyone is all hot, dehydrated, sweaty, hungry, ready to pass out and you get there and Kiko is like "Y'know what, houses are over-rated. Do we really need to go to this house? Lets not. Lets turn back." ? That seems weird that he would say that. Why else would he say that if not to warn them because he feels guilty cause of how friendly they all were to him and he knows they are all going to get their kidneys stolen? Think about it. Josh should have thought about that more.

Overall, it was a very entertaining movie. Good to see once. On DVD.