(fanning face)...I got my own self hot tellin' that story.

Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN

This movie blew me away with an awesome wave of greatness. I love, love, loved this film.
I don't know where to start with praising this movie. What a breath of fresh, Mexican beach air. I want to poke myself in the eye for not seeing this one sooner. It was just so good.

I guess you could say this was a coming of age film. One of the best ones I've seen since like, I dunno, Reality Bites. The movie starts out with Two boys in two different scenes. In both scenes they are having good-bye sex with their girlfriends who are about to leave on a trip together to Italy. Both boys making their girlfriends promise not to sleep with other guys when they are away. Julio (Gael Garcia Bernal) and Tenoch (Diego Luna) are then left to make their own holiday plans. At a wedding, they encounter Luisa- the spanish wife of Tenoch's cousin Alejandro. Alejandro was a bit of a dickweed while Luisa stirred their sexual curiosity. They talk to her at the wedding. She mentions she wants to see the beaches. Hoping to impress her, they invent a beautiful,mystical, secret beach called "Heaven's Mouth" on the Oaxaca coast and that they could take her there. At first she politely declines but then after her husband, Alejandro confessed his infidelity to her, she changes her mind and calls the boys to see if their invitation was still open to her as she would like to go with them. This is now a problem for the boys because they do not know a place like they described to her so they desperately call a friend to help them, who maps out hazy directions for them.

During the rest of the movie, the three of them set on for a road trip to try to find this beach. There is a sexual energy throughout this film that can be drawn from anywhere. The capricious youth of the two boys and their close, brotherly connection, the vulnerability of Luisa, the warm sandy Mexican summer illustrated so well you can almost feel it here in my cold, midwestern apartment. It felt like everything in this film had a certain indescribable sensual vibe that was so strong in some scenes, you couldn't help but think of the word 'Threesome' before the characters did. A part of you is just waiting for it to happen. Or I don't know, maybe its just me because soy pervertido and she is on vacation with two beautiful, lively, libidinous young mexicanos. What else is supposed to cross your mind?

I won't spoil the rest of the movie with what happens but I will say what did happen was done beautifully. Flawlessly acted, all natural, beautiful scene after beautiful scene. After the movie was over, I was like "Welp...grab your keys, we're going to Mexico!"

I'm in love - I'm all shook up

THE WIND THAT SHAKES THE BARLEY

This movie deserves an Oscar. After winning the Palme d'Or, this movie has circulated quite a lot of buzz around the world. I was already excited and in line to see this movie when I heard of Cillian Murphy was playing the role of Damien in this film but then everyone started raving about it in reviews and giving it lots of praise. There was a few snarly claims that this film is "Anti-British" but it seems like it soon died down after Ken Loach and Cillian blew them away in press conference Q&As with their brilliant sense. The more I read about this film, the more I desperately wanted to see it. Unfortunately, I do not live in LA or NY so because of this film's limited release, we Midwest folks were pretty fucked on this one. Or were we? On my quest to see this movie, I have discovered the awesome presence of God as well. Just as I was in a state of panic and despair that I might never see this movie before it gets released on DVD, God showed me the way. He said "Elisa, despite its limited release, you shall see this movie now. " And then, there was IFC In Theatres ON-DEMAND on my comcast cable box. A brand new thing, started in March, that shows limited released arty, independent films that deserve to be viewed by everyone. They have it available on demand for 6 bucks on this IFC joint as a way to gauge how much interest it gets from the rest of the country at the same time it is playing in limited theatres. If there is enough people like me with cable and a burning desire to see this movie, it just may get a wide release.

So, I did my part and paid the 6 bucks for the On-Demand viewing from the comfort of my couch. I was so happy to finally see this fantastical production, I called my whole family over and we made a big dinner, baked cookies and watched the movie party-style.

Let me say, it was everything that I expected it would be but BETTER. I loved this film. Love...is not a big enough word for how impressed I am by this film. I have to say I Lurve this film. I Loaved it. I Luffed it. Two Fs. I don't even know what to say. It was so powerful and brilliant, I was totally blown away. I felt like the barley and this movie was the wind and it shook me all night long with its brilliance and impact. It was probably the greatest and most brilliant Cillian Murphy performance I've ever seen. I had to strain to hold back tears at the end so I didn't cry in front of my family like I was Sundance Head on American Idol (whenever someone got voted off before him). I really hope this film get a wider release (if it does, I'm there with another 6 bucks and that time, I'll weep jumbo Sundance tears and watch other people try not to cry at the saddest Cillian scene in the world) and I really really hope this movie gets Oscar attention next year. If it doesn't, I'm going to have to hate the Oscars and send them a letter saying that they suck and don't know shit about movies.

Nothin's OVer, just gimme somethin' to drink.

ROCKY BALBOA

All around, this movie wasn't terrible. I think it did an alright job at redeeming itself after the crapfest that was 'Rocky V' which was a total "piece 'a gawbage", as Paulie would say.
It was a bit sad at parts as he was still very much mourning the death of Adrian. His loneliness was palpable. He still had that Rocky personality, sense of humor and fightin' spirit. It came off like Stallon really believed in this movie and like Rocky, was ready to give this hero another go. You didn't get any of that ho-hum, tired, going throught the motions for the sake of milking the Rocky franchise to the last drop because they are out of ideas and Stallone could use the money and the work type vibe coming from it. It had a lot of sincere, nostalgic, and even affectionate energy going on. Much like Clerks 2 did only more old-man soul.

You see Rocky settled in his life as a father, restaurant owner and friend/legend to the community. He named his restaurant "Adrien's" after his wife. He seemed happy but then starts getting a bit restless while buzz from a similated fight (Rocky vs. Mason Dixon) is floating around ESPN. He gets to thinking, of course, and decides we wants to fight again on a small level. His son is thinking he should give it a rest, Rocky gives a heartfelt lecture, there's a montage ...you get the picture.

This movie felt like a gift to all the Rocky fans with a little card attached that says "Sorry for Rocky V. Let us make it up to you with this enclosed Rocky Balboa, courtesy of Mr. Stallone. Enjoy :) " Thats all I can really say about it, I think.

I told you not to go there! I TOLD you not to go there!

TURISTAS

And now, a gringo tourist with an open letter to the guy that stole his kidneys.

Well, why did you do it? Are you some sort of jerk or something? They're *my* kidneys! What did you think I'd drive home and not notice it was stolen? What are you then? Some sort of *prick* ? Some sort of idiot? Some sort of thief? What would you do with just my kidneys anyway? You human loser! Well, why didn't you just use your own kidneys if you wanted some so badly? That's what I did. Well, don't you think I need those kidneys? Well, well, what were you thinking? JERK!

And now, a gringo tourist with an open letter to the people who watched while the guy stole his kidneys.

Well, you knew they weren't his kidneys! Well, why didn't you do something? Why didn't you say something? You human piece of apathy! Why didn't you say "Hey, those aren't your kidneys! Those could be a gringo tourist's kidneys!" Just eatin' brunch. Well, didn't you think I needed them? I did! Well, look at me. Fiest your eyes on that act of violence! Good work, Einstein. Pus!





This movie was better than I thought it was going to be. (That puts it at notch 1 ) I came into it expecting a cheap rip-off of Hostel but it really wasn't. I would say if you liked Hostel, you might like this movie too but I would not say it is an actual rip-off. No sir.

The acting was decent. The premise was decent. I found this film to be quite scary in my opinion. Along with Hostel, it did for foreign tourism what Jaws did for beach swimming. One of the first things I said after watching this was "Well, I'm not going to Brazil." Seriously, if I ever do go to Brazil on holiday, I would have to forget about this movie first. I do have to add that although the characters were believable, they were also slightly stupid or knuckle-headed, as my dad would say. Call me square but I think I would have waited around for the next bus instead of going to that bar and getting wasted, So I might have avoided this horrible organ-thief problem. Also, even if I did get wasted and followed the Kiko guy, I wouldn't have hesitated to turn back when Kiko decided to grow a conscience and change his mind and say "Y'know what, I know I lead you all the way here but lets go back, yes?" Obviously something was wrong here and I would have picked up on that warning and went back. I'm surprised Josh Duhamel wasn't a little more 'wtf' about that. I mean, doesn't seem a bit odd that you have been following this Kiko guy for like 10 hours (or was it 10 miles?) in middle of nowhere wooded mountains to find an alleged middle of nowhere house for help, everyone is all hot, dehydrated, sweaty, hungry, ready to pass out and you get there and Kiko is like "Y'know what, houses are over-rated. Do we really need to go to this house? Lets not. Lets turn back." ? That seems weird that he would say that. Why else would he say that if not to warn them because he feels guilty cause of how friendly they all were to him and he knows they are all going to get their kidneys stolen? Think about it. Josh should have thought about that more.

Overall, it was a very entertaining movie. Good to see once. On DVD.

Look, mom. No condom!

KIDS


We saw this movie because after making me watch a handful of Larry Clarke movies throughout our movie-watching career, the Larry Clarke debut (I am pretty sure Kids was his debut) KIDS was the one I saw that Jp had not. I warned him he's not missing much but the usual Larry Clarke disturbia. We put it in the queue anyway and ...(sigh) watched it.

This movie was like the cinematic equivalent of watching a bunch of monkeys take a crap in their hand and slinging it at other monkeys and frolicing about in a big monkey crap party. What a waste of time. Some people would argue that Larry Clarke was doing something brilliant by giving you a window into the raw side of inner-city teens, delivering "harsh reality" of how idiotic and amoral modern youth can be and the dangers and consequences of thier ceaseless quest for sex, drugs and trouble. I say - its CRAP!

What was it that this movie was trying to say? All I got was an unpleasant 2-hour public service commercial about how parents are the Anti-drug. The kids were ugly, terrible actors (besides Sevigny), nothing but shitty, boring, ignorant dialogue, and what I would call border-line child porn. Of course, thats all typical of Larry Clarke. The only difference between this movie and the rest that followed is the quality of actors and plot. Bully had more plot along with that Paradise one with James Woods. In this movie, the only name you can recognize is Chloe Sevigny and a young Rosario Dawson. Its uncomfortable to watch in the worst way and unentertaining to watch in the most annoying way.

The movie mostly follows a main character named "Telly". A slack-jawed chudd of a kid who's idea of safe sex is having sex with virgins. He talks like he was dropped on his head and on several occasions, we are forced to see him naked and "on the job" with these tween girls,laying on the worst "seductive" lines I've ever heard. I wanted to throw up. In a way you feel sorry for these girls but then you don't because you would have to be a desperate moron to fall for it and sleep with him and who's desperate at 13-14 years old anyway? So sad. Even sadder is Chloe Sevigny's character, Jenny. She was one who once was dumb and desperate enough to give up her virginity to Telly, the one and only time she has sex, only to find out she is HIV-positive. There are other kids too that don't really do a whole lot else but drugs, drinking, sex and parties.
This movie sucked on so many levels. It sucked so bad, it sucks writing about it.

When I saw that it was actually executive produced by Gus Van Sant, I was like "Oh, no wonder it sucks monkeyballs."

Yeah, this is my own personal shit.

Holiday

When we rented this movie the idea was that, best case scenario, it would be good like Trust the Man. I guess I should have realized that it was much more likely to be forgettable like Under the Tuscan Sun. This movie was seriously flawed. Even without the preview-spoilers and the knowledge that of course the two main girls in the credits would end up with the two main guys in the credits it was just so... obvious. So painfully forced. So lacking any shred of spontaneous or natural human emotion. All it really had to rely on was cute lines, but they were few and far between. It was the kind of movie that makes a good preview (ironic, given the Diaz charcter).

The ladies were the problem. The ladies and the writer. Normally I like both Cameron and Kate, but these characters sucked (Camron D. especially). The guys weren't much better, but they had the ability to float in and deliver a good line without having to carry the dead weight of poor writing that the girls did. Jack Black in particular, although his character was more serious and grown-up then any Jack Black character we've ever seen, which made this, too, seem forced.

There was cuteness abound, and I must admit it did grow on you eventually. But every time you got into a scene they would over do it just a bit. Every plot point they made they had to hit you over the head with. Old Jewish Hollywood guy? Funny, until we get water aerobics and a comeback special. Cute proper English kids? Funny until we get Young & Restless level dialog from them. Winter romances that might blossom into something? You start to get into them and then they get ridiculously predictable (either that, or Elisa saw this movie without me in secret, because she was like a fuckin' psychic over here).

In the end, I'm glad we got it, and glad we didn't switch it off for Hollywoodland after 15 minutes. I just wish that it sucked a little less.

Drink More Ovaltine

ZODIAC


Well, This movie definitely didn't suck. I can tell you that much. For what it was, it was pretty damn good. Robert Downey, Jr was awesome in this movie. I was a little bummed I didnt get to see more of him but I was still digging it, nonetheless. Everyone who has seen this movie always goes on about how Mark Ruffalo made this role his bitch. I agree, he was outstanding but I dont think Jake Gyllenhaal got enough credit and praise for his role as ..y'know, the cartoonist guy who wrote those books on the Zodiac killer. He was fantastic. I really think he needs more praise for his amazing acting but I think the other two incredible actors steal a bit of the show from him. Thats my view anyway.

David Fincher is still the man. The cinematography and lighting was all typical Fincher with the almost grainy, greenish tones and darkened feel to everything. The movie was good but I was a little disappointed at the fact that it just isn't as rewatchable as Se7en or Fight Club. The characters, story, everything was great but I felt the screenplay could have used a little bit more Fincher-y goodness that his other movies had. That was my only real problem with it.

What I liked about this movie is that it did a great job at illustrating the creepy feel of having a serial killer, (or is it mass murderer?) running loose shooting people in your town. The murders as they happened were quite scary and even shocking to some degree. Watching how creeped out the victims were in their sucks-to-be-them situation and how they didn't even have much time to react to their creepy situation or process what was going on as the killer just practically shoots them in the head mid-sentence. Those scenes were quite effective in scaring the figgly boogles out of me. I kept thinking "Geez, man, I hope that doesn't happen to me, ever."

And with the bigger picture, Fincher also did a wonderful job of illuminating the creep factor with the fact that this particular killer was such a big mystery, the police department would get exhausted and damn near throw up their arms and say "I give up." which is a scary thing. The mystery of this killer was almost as scary as the killer himself. That is why this movie was such a good idea. It was real. Real fear, real events. You dont have to make up some elaborate story about how sick a killer is or why he kills people, or create an excuse to watch pyschos chase teenagers with chainsaws. You didn't have to see anyone drenched in fake blood to be scared in this movie. Fincher just had to capture the terror and frustration in the event of a killer on the loose, taunting the police and press with coded letters and not being able to find him or catch him. Any evidence they find leads to dead ends and it just goes in circles. The fact that it really did happen, there really was a creep killer, and even scarier- the fact that he was never caught. You still dont know who or why. That is some scary scary stuff. You can feel the pain of the cartoonest/writer throughout this film and while you are feeling a bit sorry for his family, you can totally empathize with his consuming desire to find the Zodiac and get him arrested. Fincher captured that and it was brilliant. Gyllenhaal was brilliant. It is what Spike Lee's Son of Sam wished it could be. It took everything Son of Sam sucked at and should have done and made it all brilliant. AND even scarier because unlike David Burkowitz who was caught and even confessed, the Zodiac was never figured out. It was all done right.

I dont think I will buy this one on DVD but it was definitely worth seeing it in the theatre and I liked it very much.