PLAYING GOD
It has been a while since I've seen this movie and even when I saw it years ago, I was too busy drooling over David Duchovny to pay any leftover attention to the actual plot. This time, taking a break from Cillian Murphy, I actually sat and watched all of it. We were between Cillian movies and felt like watching something we didn't have to take seriously and JP was goodly enough to choose Playing God from the list of free On-Demand movies from Comcast.
I wouldn't call it a "good" movie by any stretch but it was interesting enough and a well-written narration. There is a chance that it might have just seemed that way to me because it was spoken through David Duchovny's sexy man-voice. It could have been a crap screenplay but all crap sounds beautiful with David as a narrator. All I know for sure is that I dug it.
Brief summary- So, David Duchovny is a drug addict ex-doctor (He lost his med license) who is in a bar one day, just minding his own business, visiting with his dealer when some bozo comes in shooting up the place and shoots this one dude over by the bar. Everybody is all, "Call 911! - NO, we can't cause we'll go to jail" or something. So here is this guy bleeding and dying all over the place. David Duchovny, I think his name was Eugene or something gay, leaps over the people and comes over there to help him. (Because with great medical knowledge comes great responsibility, right?) He touches the guy's neck and just like that, he can tell the guy has a punctured lung. (So magical, I love him.) Then, he yells at the bar people to bring him a water bottle and a plastic hose/tube thing and other handy stuff and he starts working his doctory magic on him and saves his life. Well, then, it turns out Angelina Jolie was at the bar gawking at him and went and told her not-handsome criminal drug-dealing boyfriend and before you know it, Dr.Cutey-Cute wakes up in the back of a moving jeep with two friends of AJ's boyfriend. They take him to a beachhouse to talk to her boyfriend. I can't remember his name. Maybe it was Raymond. Lets call him Peckerhead. (He looked like someone you would call a Peckerhead.) So, Peckerhead talks to Dr.Dreamboat about a deal that would make him a "doctor" again. Basically, he would fix up all of Peckerhead's thugs when they got shot for like, 10 grand a pop. Dr. Hotty is like, well, I don't know. Maybe I can do it for a little while... He doesn't feel good about it but he wants to practice medicine again so he goes along with it. Then some hoopla sets in with the FBI. Some twists and turns, yada yada yada. Some people wear wires to help bust other dudes. Dr. Man-Candy even wears a wire taped so gently to his manly chest. All I could think of in those scenes was how I wanted to be that particular wire. I could be the wire and I could just remember everything being said and relay it back to the feds and hide against Dr. Heartstealer's chest under his clothes. That would be the funnest job ever. Or maybe hide under there with a walkie talkie - "Peckerhead just told the other guy to put his gun down." "Yeah. Now some more guys walked in with some briefcases. Over." That would be sweet. Anyway, thats what I'm thinking.
David Duchovny is just so damn gorgeous in this movie. Its mesmerizing. I would want to get shot just so he could work on me and play doctor. Nothing fatal, just maybe in the back of the leg or somewhere cool. I wouldn't need any painkillers cause he would touch me and I would get all tingly and numb. That would be cool.
Oh yeah, I'm not just saying this but Angelina Jolie SUCKS in this movie. Her acting was just ridiculously HORRIBLE. She does okay in her more recent movies and everything so I'm thinking that maybe this was her first or second movie or something cause she absolutely could NOT act. NONE of her sentences came out like a normal human being would say them. Nothing she said or did came off natural. It was shit. It was so distracting, it was almost comical. And because she was such a bad actress and couldn't say her lines properly, she couldn't have chemistry with a single person in this movie. It was like she was in a completely different movie than everyone else. She was off in 'No Retreat No Surrender' while everyone else was living it in this 'Playing God' movie. Maybe she thought the movie was called 'Playing GodAwful' cause thats exactly what she was doing. It was distracting me from my Dr. Hotness moments.
Playing God isn't really a movie I would recommend to anyone. Its not really a great movie but its one of those movies that is good to check out at 2 am on the couch when it comes on cable.
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